This is a quick one, just want to let it out and hopefully this would put me back on track.
It’s Friday already and I should be happy, weekend is here and I can rest, that’s the idea but the truth is there is just so much to do and so little time. I sometimes find myself overwhelmed with my very challenging job, my studies and personal life. I don’t want to spend all my days doing things that I have to and not being able to dedicate some time doing what I love, like reading, writing or simply spending some time with loved ones. I know that it is all up to me, whether I feel exhausted by the all these things or just keep on going and stay positive despite the craziness. I wanted this anyway, I chose to pursue MBA knowing that it will require hours and hours of reading and studying not to mention all the extra work it entails. On the plus side, I always have something to do and I like it. Being busy doesn’t always mean that you don’t get bored, I do sometimes, or rather I become restless and tedious. I find myself losing concentration especially when I am doing paper works that requires keen attention, same when I am doing analysis for case study. I am like a kid with ADHD sometimes. I get bored and would search the web for anything interesting, most of the time I would search One Piece fan fiction ( I am so addicted to this manga and it is my stress buster). Most of the time, I would work non-stop and will not notice the passing of time and its already 6 pm, I can leave the office but I will usually stay for another hour to catch up on the paper works, unless I have class. On my way way, I would feel so exhausted and would ask myself ” is this really what you want?” “are you happy?” and it would make me think about my ultimate goals in life and I’ll tell myself yes, this is want I want, yes this makes me happy but I wouldn’t mind some diversion every now and then, which will make me think of my non-existent love life and made me realize that I should also put some time and effort on that area of my life. All in all, I am happy but gets restless once in a while and would think of profound things that would make me question my life decisions and directions. I just need to balance the my work, study and life. Prioritize things and make each moment counts. I just miss reading and writing, I miss talking to my soul, I miss getting into my deepest desires and dreams. I want to live a life, not merely existing, I want excitement and surprises (only good ones please!)
I just need to remind myself that I own my life, I am in charge and whether I end up happy and fulfilled or not is all up to me. And this came into mind
Yup, I have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyonce. Yes, she doesn’t commute or do household chores but l have to stop making excuses for my self if I really want to make it, if I really want to leave a mark and do great things. I don’ have to compare myself with her, she is a woman of her own and so am I. I can be super busy but look fab doing it. Better yet I should tell this myself, you have the same amount of hours in a day as every single person you admire and only you get to choose what to do with those hours. Whenever I feel overwhelmed and exhausted I would tell this to my self.
Now I feel better, so much better. I just need to slap some sense into my crazy self. Paper works, reports, term papers here I am!!!