Single and Feeling Awesome

I’ve reached this phase in my life when (almost) everyone is asking me why I don’t have a boyfriend? Am I even dating? Am I picky? Do I have any plans of getting married?  They are all so concerned about my lack of love life, asking me what do I want in a man and maybe they know someone who fits the bill and try their hand at matchmaking.  They would interview me as to why I am still single and would make me feel like facing a firing squad and hoping that earth would crack open and swallow me.  I would just ignore them most of the time, I know they are just concerned (I don’t know why it bothers them though) and really meant well. Though  sometimes it could get annoying but I don’t show it, I play it cool and let them know that I maybe single but I am not lonely.

I kind of expected this reaction from people given my age  but if they could only read my mind they’d probably stop the inquisition.  It’s not as if I wanted to stay single for the rest of my life, it’s just that it is not as simple as it seems.  Yeah, probably for some, getting a boyfriend is as easy as buying groceries but I have always been a bit weird.  I just wish that people would let me be and if they really can’t stop their curiosity I just wish that they take a hint when I am feeling really uncomfortable.  It’s like having to explain something that you don’t really understand and I don’t even have to explain right?  I don’t have to justify my life and how I am living it.

People make it sound like being single is a bad thing when it’s not.  It is actually the perfect time to explore uncharted territories, to really know your self well, to try things that you might not be able to do once you are in a relationship.  I just wish that society would stop putting pressure (without even realizing it) on single people and focus their energy on something else.  I mean would it  make you feel better if you ask a person when he/she is getting married when you know he/she is single.  What  for? To entertain themselves at the expense of someone else’s discomfort?  And why do they act as if single people have to explain their non-existing love lives?

In all honesty, I want to fall in love too but for the mean time I am loving my single-blessedness.  I don’t worry that men won’t like me because I am not pretty or friendly enough.   I know that one day, I  will find that someone who will appreciate the things that other men are afraid of.

To every single person out there, just enjoy this phase, love it, live it.

And I was thinking:

Maybe I am never going to fall in love ever (and it sucks but that won’t kill me) because I am weird and not capable of loving someone romantically.

OR

Maybe I will fall in love soon and realize that all those things they say  about love are nothing but bullshit.

OR

Maybe I’ll meet someone really interesting tomorrow and we’ll go on a date and I’ll find out he’s boring and there’s no sparks whatsoever between the two of us.

OR

Maybe someone will find me worthy of his time and will try to get to know me and fall in love with me despite my weirdness (and will find out how awesome I am lol) and I’ll love him back and we’ll live happily ever after.

Until then this single girl will have the make the most of her freedom.

Bone Deep Exhaustion

After weeks of running myself ragged, exhaustion finally caught up with me. I am coming down with a flu.  I can’t afford to get sick because firstly, I still haven’t catch up on all my paper works;secondly, my friend and I are joining a Sagada tour and we are leaving tomorrow night.  I have always wanted to visit that mysterious and alluring place since I was in high school and now everything is set, well except for my health. I have to get better asap or I am doomed.

This is what I got for working my ass off.  Oh dear Lord please make me better.  I deserve a break.

I am exhausted to my freaking bones.  All I want is curl up in bed and sleep the whole day.  This month has been a blur to me.  My birthday is coming but even that day I still can’t spend in peace and quiet.

I’m going to be alright. I know I will.

Firsts of May

Time simply flies so fast,it’s May already, my birth month. I am quite excited for this month. Firstly, I am turning 30 and I am excited to make this year an amazing one. Another thing, due to the shifting of the university’s academic calendar, I am not allowed to enroll any subject unless I am graduating already, we are also not accepting new scholars for the special term, so I can finally catch up on paper works without killing myself.  So no classes and relaxed atmosphere at work, it’s heaven. Another reason why I am so excited for May is that my calendar is quite filled up with travels both work related and with friends.  This is going to be a very busy and expensive month for me and I intend to make the most out of it.

This is how my May looks so far.

May 1 – a holiday so no work for me yay! Just spent the day at home, sleeping, reading Sherlolly fan fictions, watching BBC’s Sherlock,surfing the web, eating and oh I also wash clothes and they’re quote a lot:-)

May 2 – met with a friend/co-worker,Ate Gladys, we saw a movie and ate a lot, from 11:am to 3:30pm. Afterwards,while waiting for my bff Arra I bought a Sherlock shirt that I have meaning to buy for quite a while, bought shoes for me and my sister, and bought so much body lotions it would last for the next 3 months. At 5pm finally with Arra, ate again at Tokyo,Tokyo, talked about her problematic love life. Then we went swim suit shopping, it was really fun. Seeing a two-piece in a mannequin and tell each other how pretty/cute it is then trying it on and realized it doesn’t look as great in a real woman’s body like ours as it was on a life less statue. After some trial and error we both found swim wear that doesn’t make us more aware of our flaws and left the mall satisfied.

May 3 – I am going to meet 2 classmates of mine at the MOA for a post-finals and despedida (for Steph who’s going to Qatar) celebration.

May 7 – I intend to go swimming with my friend and her family (its like a family outing) in Bolinao (I’ve read that it has great beaches). I am going to wear my bikini but underneath a shorts and a see-through cover up lol.

May 11-13 – I am going to Tacloban for the scholarship roadshow. An official business with leisure on the side.

May 22-24 – I am going to explore Sagada with a friend. It’s gonna be an adventure of a lifetime that’s for sure.

May 25 – My birthday!!! and also our office’s summer workshop. We are planning to go to Hidden Valley in Laguna. So excited for this too.

Hopefully I can squeeze in some me time in between those schedules. On the bad side I have to work double to make up for the days I am not in the office.  As of the moment I am neck deep in paper works. But I need to learn to enjoy life while going through the craziest and busiest times in my life. C’est la vie

So far I have done quiet a few firsts this month and I intend to add more.

1. Bought a two piece.

2. Finally found a Sherlock shirt and bought it.

I love my life, it’s far from perfect but it is beautiful.