I’ve reached this phase in my life when (almost) everyone is asking me why I don’t have a boyfriend? Am I even dating? Am I picky? Do I have any plans of getting married? They are all so concerned about my lack of love life, asking me what do I want in a man and maybe they know someone who fits the bill and tries their hand at matchmaking. They would interview (sometimes it feels like an interrogation) me as to why I am still single and would make me feel like I am facing a firing squad and hope that earth would crack open and swallow me. I would just ignore them most of the time. I know they are just concerned (I don’t know why it bothers them though) and really meant well. Though sometimes, it could get annoying I didn’t show it, I play it cool and let them know that I may be single but I am not lonely.
I kind of expected this reaction from people given my age but if they could only read my mind they’d probably stop the inquisition. It’s not as if I wanted to stay single for the rest of my life, it’s just that it is not as simple as it seems. Yeah, probably for some, getting a boyfriend is as easy as buying groceries but I have always been a bit weird. I just wish that people would let me be and if they really can’t stop their curiosity I just wish that they take a hint when I am feeling really uncomfortable. It’s like having to explain something that you don’t really understand and I don’t even have to explain right? I don’t have to justify my life and how I am living it.
People make it sound like being single is a bad thing when it’s not. It is actually the perfect time to explore uncharted territories, to really know your self well, to try things that you might not be able to do once you are in a relationship. I just wish that society would stop putting pressure (without even realizing it) on single people and focus their energy on something else. I mean would it make you feel better if you ask a person when he/she is getting married when you know he/she is single. What for? To entertain themselves at the expense of someone else’s discomfort? And why do they act as if single people have to explain their non-existing love lives?
In all honesty, I want to fall in love too but for the meantime, I am loving my single-blessedness. I don’t worry that men won’t like me because I am not pretty or friendly enough. I know that one day, I will find that someone who will appreciate the things that other men are afraid of.
To every single person out there, just enjoy this phase, love it, live it.
And I was thinking:
Maybe I am never going to fall in love ever (and it sucks but that won’t kill me) because I am weird and not capable of loving someone romantically.
Maybe I will fall in love soon and realize that all those things they say about love are nothing but bullshit.
Maybe I’ll meet someone really interesting tomorrow and we’ll go on a date and I’ll find out he’s boring and there are no sparks whatsoever between the two of us.
Maybe someone will find me worthy of his time and will try to get to know me and fall in love with me despite my weirdness (and will find out how awesome I am lol) and I’ll love him back and we’ll live happily ever after.
I will fall in love with a wonderful guy and he will love me back, we will have great moments together, but we will not end up together. I will move on and find someone else to love. Or I will not love again and he will be the one that got away.
Until then this single girl will have the make the most of her freedom.