Sisters of the Heart

While the whole country is plague with so many issues, my family still makes me crazy, my work and study keeps me busy, I just want to stop for a while and write about something that is very important to me.  I haven’t wrote about this topic but I am grateful for having it. I am aware how lucky I am to enjoy it and now I just want to try to put my appreciation into words. I am talking about friendship; a great, awesome,beautiful friendship.

the only therapy you need

We all have friends, different kinds of friends.  There are those whom we met when we were younger but went out of separate ways and lost touch, you are still friends in Facebook but that’s it.  There are those friends that you still get in touch with but not that close.  There are those that you still care about but you both are so busy and never really got the time to come together as much as you want and occasional texts and personal messages in social networking sites is enough. There are those friends that you are quite close to but never once seen the real you.  And there are those friends that your consider the sisters of your heart.  The ones who knows what are you thinking even without you saying anything.  The ones who have seen you cry, laugh, afraid, angry, ugly.  They have been with you through the good and bad times.  They know you, they know your story, they know why you are the way you are. They are the first ones you call when there is a life changing event that happened, be it good or bad and they will drop (almost) anything to run to your side and listen.  They will listen to your endless chatter.  They will make you laugh until your stomach hurt and make you laugh some more. They are your fiercest protector and staunchest believer.  They’ll cry and laugh with you. Around them you don’t feel so silly and weird. You felt like you actually belong. They are the proof that you don’t need so many friends just few real ones.

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I am fortunate enough to have these friends. I’ve known them back in high school and been best of friends since then.  We practically see each other grow. We were together when we were these young, crazy, naive high school students, kept in touch during college days (we all went to different colleges/universities),  boost each other’s confidence as we started navigating the “real world”, sharing our joys as we landed our first jobs, divided grief whenever one is heart broken (be it about family, career or love), pushing each other to go after her dream and just be there for each other through all the good and bad times.

friendship

What prompt this post when I don’t usually write about them?  I was thinking about the changes that we all went through for the past couple of years and how we all are taking different paths.  There were always the four of us, that four weirdos who stuck together for 17 years.  But now we are slowly living our separate lives, well, part of growing up (or old). One of my closest friends is expecting her baby next month, another just left the country yesterday to be with her the “One” (she traveled across the world to be with him), the other has been out of town for a couple of months now and here I am feeling  alone and (a bit) lonely.

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I am really glad on how our lives turned out, seeing them happy makes me happy and it’s just that it was only recently that this realization hit me. We are getting old, part of getting old is getting married, having your own family.  Having your own family means dedicating your life taking care of them, your priorities are different now.  I guess I am not yet ready for this phase of my life to end; going out with them (almost) any time and day, traveling with them, watching movies, those long chats, the sleep over, the window shopping, all those girl talks. I am not sad, I expected this to happen, I am just being a bit melancholic but I’ll be fine after a few minutes. Suddenly I realized that this is where we stop walking the same road and taking different paths, hoping that our friendship is strong enough to stand the test of time and distance.  I am sure we will, there’s always a way to make things work if one is really determined.

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I am not sad because I feel like I am being left out. No, my life is awesome as it is. I have great plans and I am just beginning to turn my dream into reality.  I have a job that I really love, I am pursuing graduate school and at this point of my life I feel like I am finally right on track.  I am happy for them but I am not ready to settle down yet (not that I have a boyfriend to settle down with ha-ha).  I have this game plan and I am sticking to it.  I write this post as a tribute to a great friendship that withstood the test of time and hoping that it will stay that way.  I sound like it’s the end of our friendship when clearly it is not.  We just took different roads and I know from time to time our paths will cross.  Just being melodramatic lately but more than being sappy I was reminded how awesome my friends are.10858441_4759147633818_541890539956980548_n

Here’s to 17 years (and counting) years of friendship and sisterhood. Wishing all my sisters of the heart the best that life can offer.  May we keep the fire burning and may God bless us all.  Let’s live our lives to the fullest!!!!

our friendship has grown with us

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A Day of Mourning

Today, January 30, 2015, is the National Day of Mourning for the 44 PNP Special Action Force commandos killed during the “misencounter” with alleged members of the Moro Islamic Liberation Front and breakaway group Bangsamoro Islamic Freedom fighters at Mamasapano, Maguindanao while chasing high-ranking terrorists Zulkifli Abdhir and Basit Usman.  All public institutions and military installations, are instructed to lower the Philippine flag to half-mast in honor of the members of the Philippine National Police Special Action Force. A day when not only the country mourns the fallen 44 but also cries for justice and truth.  Justice for their death and truth as to what really happened and how a covert operation turned into an ambush/massacre.

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A day of mourning it is, but it’s also a day of rage and cry for justice and truth. And where the hell is our feakin President?

I was trying so hard to fight my tears during the mass when the priest offered a special prayer for the fallen PNP-SAF members. I know that death in that line of work is expected.  What is unacceptable is the fact that it look likes they were a flock of sheep lured into a den of wolves. Whatever happened to the intel? Is there any?  This has happened during the peace talk between the government and MILF.  This is how they think peace is all about? They call it misencounter, whatever that means, I call this massacre.

Where do we go from here? After the fallen commandos  have been given their medal of valor and laid to their resting place?  What now? Should we proceed with the peace process or should we stop it until the justice has been served? Or should we just scrap the whole peace talk?

Some want to call  the peace process to a halt and get even with those rebels and it’s understandable but what happens next?  Will the terror and violence end after an all out war with those who fight the government?  Or will it only be the beginning of a civil war that will take thousands of lives on a regular basis. Such as what is happening with Israel and Palestine. Should we live our lives with death and violence on a daily basis? I am all for the peace talk but I want those perpetrators brought to justice first.  We shouldn’t let them get away with this.

This reminds me of the Maguindanao Massacre, which until now remain unsolved.

Life is just so complicated,messy,dangerous and heart wrenching but here we are clinging on to it so dearly.

P.S

Shame on our President, the Commander-in-Chief, Pres. Benigno Aquino for not attending the arrivals rights of the fallen SAF in Villamor Airbase, is this how he pay his respects to those “heroes”?  Instead he was at an inauguration of an automobile plant somewhere in Laguna.  Wow, just think on how he set his priorities.  Netizens showed their outrage by hastagging nasaanangpangulo (where is the president?).   The father of our nation does not even have the decency to show up at the arrival rights of his “children” who died following his orders. For shame.  

 I bet his sister, the actress, Kris Aquino, would be doing her best to create scandals to divert the Filipino’s attention (who happened to have short-term memory as the history says and based from my observations).

Its more Fun in the Philippines they say.

You have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyonce

This is a quick one, just want to let it out and hopefully this would put me back on track.

It’s Friday already and I should be happy, weekend is here and I can rest, that’s the idea but the truth is there is just so much to do and so little time. I sometimes find myself overwhelmed with my very challenging job, my studies and personal life.  I don’t want to spend all my days doing things that I have to and not being able to dedicate some time doing what I love, like reading, writing or simply spending some time with loved ones.  I know that it is all up to me, whether I feel exhausted by the all these things or just keep on going and stay positive despite the craziness.  I wanted this anyway, I chose to pursue MBA knowing that it will require hours and hours of reading and studying not to mention all the extra work it entails.  On the plus side, I always have something to do and I like it.  Being busy doesn’t always mean that you don’t get bored, I do sometimes, or rather I become restless and tedious.  I find myself losing concentration especially when I am doing paper works that requires keen attention, same when I am doing analysis for case study.  I am like a kid with ADHD sometimes.  I get bored and would search the web for anything interesting, most of the time I would search One Piece fan fiction ( I am so addicted to this manga and it is my stress buster). Most of the time, I would work non-stop and will not notice the passing of time and its already 6 pm, I can leave the office but I will usually stay for another hour to catch up on the paper works, unless I have class.  On my way way, I would feel so exhausted and would ask myself  ” is this really what you want?” “are you happy?” and it would make me think about my ultimate goals in life and I’ll tell myself yes, this is want I want, yes this makes me happy but I wouldn’t mind some diversion every now and then, which will make me think of my non-existent love life and made me realize that I should also put some time and effort on that area of my life.  All in all, I am happy but gets restless once in a while and would think of profound things that would make me question my life decisions and directions.  I just need to balance the my work, study and life.  Prioritize things and make each moment counts.  I just miss reading and writing, I miss talking to my soul, I miss getting into my deepest desires and dreams. I want to live a life, not merely existing, I want excitement and surprises (only good ones please!)

I just need to remind myself that I own my life, I am in charge and whether I end up happy and fulfilled or not is all up to me.    And this came into mind

beyonce hours

Yup, I have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyonce.  Yes, she doesn’t commute or do household chores but l have to stop making excuses for my self if I really want to make it, if I really want to leave a mark and do great things. I don’ have to compare myself with her, she is a woman of her own and so am I.  I can be super busy but look fab doing it.   Better yet I should tell this myself, you have the same amount of hours in a day as every single person you admire and only you get to choose what to do with those hours. Whenever I feel overwhelmed and exhausted I would  tell this to my self.

Now I feel better, so much better. I just need to slap some sense into my crazy self.   Paper works, reports, term papers here I am!!!

Aside

Dear Future Boyfriend/Husband/Lover/Soul Mate

Inspired by an article I’ve read in Facebook entitled “A Letter From The Love You Haven’t Met Yet” ,I’ll try to do the same.

 

Dear Future Boyfriend/Husband/Lover/Soul Mate,

How are you doing? I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing this letter so that you can read something stupid when you finally come into my life, sort of an advanced gift.

Well, what should I say?  Let’s start with me letting you know that I am still waiting patiently for you (what else can I do?).  I am growing impatient as months and years went by but then again it’s not as if I can do about it.  It’s not so much about me not being aggressive enough to go after any man; it’s just that I haven’t really met you.  Yes, you.  The man who’s going to sweep me off my feet.  The one who will make giddy, stupid and insanely happy. The kind of man that I only read about in my favorite romance author’s books (it’s not their perfect physical beauty that I don’t even see, it’s their character and personality).  The man who will wildly pursue me even if I seemed aloof and indifferent.  The man who will courageously climb the wall I surround myself with.  The one who will see the beauty in me.  The one who will realized that I am weird and a dork but will still decide to stay around.

As I go on with this I started to ask myself, do you even exist?  As far as I know I haven’t felt your presence yet.  Will I ever going to find you or when will you find me?  This made me lonely suddenly; I started this letter with a happy disposition, so intent on making a funny letter, well not anymore.  So there’s this song by Natasha Beddingfield that says:

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you’re in disguise

 

I don’t want to think that you are already in my life because I can’t think of anyone that really interests me.  If you are already in my life right now and you haven’t made your move yet I am going to kick your ass.  Maybe you are in a relationship right now, that sucks.  Well, wherever you are right now, I hope you made up your mind already and come and get me.   If I already know you, I am so kicking your ass, what the heck are you still doing?  If you are someone I never met yet I hope I met you already, like ASAP.

While you are not in my life yet, make the most out of it.  If you still want to play the field, then play as much as you want.  Enjoy all the things that a committed man can’t do.  Get your fill.  Get crazy, get wild.   Because the moment you get into my life, playing around is no longer allowed.  Anyway, I won’t go and tell you what you can and cannot do, just enjoy life, have a great time.

I don’t know what to say to you anymore, so see you around and very soon, I hope.