Overwhelmed (and not in a good way)

It’s halfway through the term so I am now buried in school work add that to my equally challenging job and I am about to lose my cool.  Today is a Saturday and while most people are enjoying their weekend doing what they want I have to attend a class in the morning, complete a report at work in the afternoon and squeeze in some personal errands before the day ends.  I don’t mind being busy, I wanted this and I just got what I wanted right? No one forced me to  enroll in MBA, this is all me.  So I better work my ass off or I won’t be able to keep up with my very demanding work and studies.  This morning, our professor in Accounting Management let us work on exercises to see if we are ready for the exam (I’m not). We reviewed some exercises on the book and while we’re at it, he reminded us about our final paper.  A paper I have absolutely no idea how to do.  He didn’t give any format or even guidelines.  We just have to apply managerial accounting principles.  Yay me.  I am so lost in this subject and if I don’t study I’d definitely fail the exam.  On top of the individual final paper each group has to submit 4 case study analysis.  Whoah!   Thank God we are done with case study presentation.

Then there’s the first cycle of Action Research that I have to complete and present before the term ends for my elective subject.   I am still undecided whether I will continue my Management Action proposal which I started 2 terms ago or change my topic.  I haven’t had the time  to actually sit down and contemplate on this.  Yeah I had a 4 day break earlier this week but I used that to really rest (so I slept and slept), study Management Accounting (a bit), read books (shuffling between Harry Potter and Robert Langdon’s adventures) and catch up with my friends that I haven’t seen for quite sometime.  So here I am torn between panicking and going crazy (crazy sounds good).

I just had my exams in my other subject; Operations Management, and it was quite difficult, the questions are totally unexpected and will force you to think outside the box.  So think outside the box I did, to the point of silliness and improbability.  My group still haven’t started on our project and I just read the required format and content and there are just so much to do!!!

OMG how true is this one??? When you have panic attack disorder...it's your daily thought process! Read this article and stop having panic attacks! #relax #dontworry:

I am okay.  I got this but I just have to write my thoughts down or I’ll blow my head off. Stay focused, keep centered, eyes on the prize!   I really feel so much better once I had written down things that our bugging me.  This is my therapy; simple, free and accessible.

 

Off you go and read that AR proposal, maybe you can simply improve it and it’s good enough for presentation. Or better yet, enjoy what’s left of the day and think no more.

36 Little Things You Can Do For A Loved One With Anxiety:

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Note to Self : Cramming sucks

I wrote this more than two months ago and I just have to post this as a reminder to my self, since another term has just started and I need to start as early as now on cases studies, projects and what not for both of my subjects.

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You would think I have learned my lesson by now.  More than a year into business school and I still can’t balance my time well.  Here I am now slaving and cramming on my action research proposal due next week.  This is the hardest requirement I have ever encountered in my four terms in MBA.  My other subject this term is so demanding in terms of required output and it is basically eating up all my time for studying.  Work is equally challenging, the coming week would be so busy for me.  The other subject I am enrolled in seemed to be just fine at first (management action research aka MAR).  The discussions are interesting until we started the online class.  I don’t mind a hybrid class, I have attended one last term and it was good.  I learned a lot, it was very demanding too but I did really well and I got my highest grade so far (3.5) and to think so many students are apprehensive to take this subject (Quameth).  However, this class (MAR) is not meant to be taken online.  The topics are just way too abstract and needs actual interaction.  The online classes were basically a forum, where we can post our insights and questions and students will try to respond but that is simply not enough, we need our professor’s input.  Yes, we have exercises we need to submit but our professor rarely give feedback on online assignments.

So here I am reading and trying to understand everything.  I am kind of panicking.  I have to finish the majority of the paper this weekend or I’m done.  I still have class on Monday so that’s out and this is a very busy week at work so I’d probably end up working late at the office.  I hate cramming but I am still doing it.  I never intended for this to happen.  I had plans.  I was supposed to have two weeks to work on the paper but work is crazy and I got sick for two days (probably due to fatigue).  I had to miss work and when I returned there are tons of things to be done and last Friday I stayed at the office until 9 pm just so I can finish some paper works.  I have deadlines to beat both for work and school.  I don’t even have a social life now.  All I do is work and study, what a bore.

I wish I have this daily reminder to myself to start on a paper as early as possible because cramming sucks.  It stresses me out and the quality of my work is compromised.   I have to print this journal and bring it with me all the time.  I have to be disciplined.  I need to focus and stay centered.  I am doing this for a reason (eyes on the prize!).  I need to establish a regular study time despite my heavy work load.  I need to leave the office on time.  I have to give myself a break from every now and then because times like this really make my life so boring and stressful at the same time.   I need to manage my time well and balance my life.  I am sick of weekends spent working on a paper.  I need to get out and have the time of my life while I am still relatively young (lol).  Get a life woman!

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Lesson of the story?

Stay focused.

Work on my school stuff everyday even just for an hour, even if I don’t  feel like it.

At least try to live a well balanced life 🙂

Go out sometimes, be young and wild and free 😉

Student life a of full time employee aka what have I gotten myself into

September 27, 2015

6:52 pm

Student Life

Being a student is not easy, especially if you are working full-time.  I’ve started business school more than a year ago and I am on my third term now.  This term, I enrolled Principles of Financial Accounting and Quantitative Method for Decision Making.  This is quite a busy term for me, well it always has been ever since I enrolled in MBA but this time it’s a little bit harder, especially Quameth.  There’s just so much I need to do each week just for one subject alone.  This week I have the following deliverables:

Accounting:

2 case studies, one is assigned as our group’s oral presentation. Yesterday, after my Quameth class, I met with my Accounting group mates and work case 5 (for our oral presentation). We already worked out the computations and we only have to do our ACAs and recommendation.  We haven’t really finalized the whole paper but I am hoping we will by tomorrow afternoon.  We still don’t have the PowerPoint. We haven’t started on case 6 but I have already read it, it looked complicated. Well aren’t they all.  They are all due on Wednesday yay!!  This is my last bridging course. So next term will be so much tougher.

Quameth:

This is my first foundation course after two terms of taking bridging courses (an MBA student without a business undergraduate has to take 15 units of bridging/refresher courses) so yeah technically I am just starting the MBA program.  I recently told myself, welcome to the real world, I can feel the difference already.

I was initially intimidated to take Quameth, it sound so mathematically heavy, taking it together with an accounting subject is somewhat masochistic.  At first, I play around the schedules and my course flowchart.  Then realized that no matter what I do, at some point I have to take two “Math”  subjects in a term so I just told myself might as well do it now while the other subject is just a bridging course.  Quameth is not really computation intensive, we use a softwarte for computations.  We use quantitative methods to aid in decision making and so far I can still follow the “simple” equations and learned how to use QM for Windows software.   The hard part is all the requirements we have to deliver every week.  We have online class every other week, during online class, we are assigned either a case study or a business research with quameth application, aside from the paper which is the “easier” part, we have forums assigned for each group.  In these forums, a group will be assigned to critique the other group’s paper and will be graded based on the number of comments/posts and its relevance to the topic.  Now, this is the hard part, once you upload your group’s paper to the online classroom site, bloodbath will follow.  I know it’s an exaggeration but it’s a close description.  So far we had 2 online classes and the group assigned to critique our work were hard core inquisitors, they asked the hardest questions.  I would be at awe sometimes, they made me feel stupid at times, they dig so deep and you have to do your best to come out of that hole and deflect the blows.  That’s how intense quameth online class is.  In person, they are all seemed nice and harmless human beings, just like me.  In the virtual, we all become Attila the Hun.

The first online class was close to a nightmare.  We were assigned a case study on break-even analysis.  The computation part was easy, data were given and we knew the formula.  We are kind of lost on how to present the case, we don’t know the format or we thought so.  We didn’t know that there were guidelines uploaded in the online class site.   Once we uploaded our case, the other groups started annihilating us.  Yup, that’s how it felt, they were feral, attacking us on our weakest side.  Since we weren’t aware of the guidelines, we failed to include Alternative Courses of Action (stupid me, what’s a case study without an ACA?) and the ethical considerations.  In that moment I have realized that it’s hard to attack when you are busy defending yourself.  There were so many questions on our paper’s that all I can focus on is how to answer them especially the bigger/harder ones.  We were able to answer almost all their questions but weren’t really able to critique their paper.  I felt like a loser, that was my first foray into the wilds and was just thankful I got away alive.  I swore we’ll do better in the next forum and will critique the heck out of the other group’ paper and make a solid paper and read extensively on the topic to be ready for any inquiry.  I got a grade of 88 not bad but not great either.

By the second online class we are ready for war, well suited for the battlefield.  A day before the online class though, we were still finalizing our topic, I started the paper Friday afternoon and asked the rest of the group to improve what I did.  One of my pet peeves is cramming which happens a lot when you work with a group, so I just stay patient but firm.  I would remind them from time to time that we are running out of time and that I don’t want a repeat of the what happened in the previous forums.  If I have my choice I’d rather work alone, but I have to admit that working with groups made me learn more and a group is capable of making a better product than an individual.  I am kind of use to this whole group thing anyway and so far I haven’t get in a squabble with anyone.   Until Friday midnight final changes are still being done on our paper.   Saturday morning, 10 minutes before 9 am, I logged in to our forum, read the other groups paper and started forming my questions.   At exactly 9 am, I posted my first query, answered the other groups critique and this went on until 3pm, I was on fire.  Not question was left unanswered and also grilled the other group to my hearts content.  The online class is from 9:00 am Saturday to 11:00 pm Wednesday.  We had enough time to fire questions towards each group, the discussion was so intense, it made me feel so alive.  I was loving it, I never thought Quameth would be so fun!  I have learned so much from that experience.  I was forced to read more on the oil/gas companies risks because that was our topic and also looked deeper into the Coca Cola Enterprises sustainability plan since it was the other groups topic.  I kind of feel that the other group is evading some of questions but kept on peppering us with their queries which our group just kept on answering, so basically the forum was more focused on our case than theirs.  Well next I know what to do.  Our grades aren’t posted yet but I have a feeling I’ll get a really good one.

My deliverables for this week is quite a long list.

  1. Business Research using Game Theory for the online forum.
  2. Volunteer Exercise with a classmate. We were assigned our partner (one can choose a partner but I don’t know anyone in the class). Our last week’s assignment was kinda fuzzy I wasn’t sure if we answered it all correctly.
  3. Game (it’s actually a quiz). A part of our quiz is group work and we have to apply Game Theory techniques on the CPP-NPA/Government clash. I feel like a grown up, tackling a real life issue using theories.
  4. Project proposal. Our group has to submit our project proposal which we will present on a later date.

Wow, look at that.  Every item takes a lot of time and focus.   This is going to be long week for me and this is just my studies, add it up to my work load and this girl is really all work and no play.

All of these on top of my equally challenging job, I would sometimes find myself asking “what the heck have I gotten myself into?”

You have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyonce

This is a quick one, just want to let it out and hopefully this would put me back on track.

It’s Friday already and I should be happy, weekend is here and I can rest, that’s the idea but the truth is there is just so much to do and so little time. I sometimes find myself overwhelmed with my very challenging job, my studies and personal life.  I don’t want to spend all my days doing things that I have to and not being able to dedicate some time doing what I love, like reading, writing or simply spending some time with loved ones.  I know that it is all up to me, whether I feel exhausted by the all these things or just keep on going and stay positive despite the craziness.  I wanted this anyway, I chose to pursue MBA knowing that it will require hours and hours of reading and studying not to mention all the extra work it entails.  On the plus side, I always have something to do and I like it.  Being busy doesn’t always mean that you don’t get bored, I do sometimes, or rather I become restless and tedious.  I find myself losing concentration especially when I am doing paper works that requires keen attention, same when I am doing analysis for case study.  I am like a kid with ADHD sometimes.  I get bored and would search the web for anything interesting, most of the time I would search One Piece fan fiction ( I am so addicted to this manga and it is my stress buster). Most of the time, I would work non-stop and will not notice the passing of time and its already 6 pm, I can leave the office but I will usually stay for another hour to catch up on the paper works, unless I have class.  On my way way, I would feel so exhausted and would ask myself  ” is this really what you want?” “are you happy?” and it would make me think about my ultimate goals in life and I’ll tell myself yes, this is want I want, yes this makes me happy but I wouldn’t mind some diversion every now and then, which will make me think of my non-existent love life and made me realize that I should also put some time and effort on that area of my life.  All in all, I am happy but gets restless once in a while and would think of profound things that would make me question my life decisions and directions.  I just need to balance the my work, study and life.  Prioritize things and make each moment counts.  I just miss reading and writing, I miss talking to my soul, I miss getting into my deepest desires and dreams. I want to live a life, not merely existing, I want excitement and surprises (only good ones please!)

I just need to remind myself that I own my life, I am in charge and whether I end up happy and fulfilled or not is all up to me.    And this came into mind

beyonce hours

Yup, I have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyonce.  Yes, she doesn’t commute or do household chores but l have to stop making excuses for my self if I really want to make it, if I really want to leave a mark and do great things. I don’ have to compare myself with her, she is a woman of her own and so am I.  I can be super busy but look fab doing it.   Better yet I should tell this myself, you have the same amount of hours in a day as every single person you admire and only you get to choose what to do with those hours. Whenever I feel overwhelmed and exhausted I would  tell this to my self.

Now I feel better, so much better. I just need to slap some sense into my crazy self.   Paper works, reports, term papers here I am!!!

Time Check (Tick Tock, Tick Tock)

Time check or should I say date check?  Today is Monday, October 20, 2014.   Let me see if I am on track and able to keep up with all the tasks that are need to be done.

Last week, I wrote about all the things that I have to accomplish, I was feeling the stress and pressure and writing about it made me feel better.  This week is the busiest week of my entire life to date.  Tomorrow is the deadline for financial assistance application. This Saturday is our group report and our case is the most complicated to date, we are working our butt off and I really wish we can deliver an awesome presentation.  This Sunday is my Civil Service Examination, I applied in July but it is only now that I am starting to review, I am now relying on my “stock knowledge”.  Good luck on the math part of the exam.  The deadline for financial report for the previous quarter is also this week.  And everyday tons of papers works are being added to my work load.

So how do I get to accomplish and get a great result from all of this?  I have a game plan and I hope it works, no, I am sure it will work.  During office hours, I’ll focus on the paper works, I have to maximize time and make the most out of it.  Go home early and review for Civil Service Exam at home. An hour will do, I have to focus on numerical reasoning.  I have a class on Tuesday so I won’t be able to review on that day.  During lunch break, I will work on my group’s case study.  Good thing, we were able to meet after class last Saturday and started working on the case.

So will I be able to pull this off? Yes, I am confident I can, this is just a matter of determination, focus and time management. I promise for this week, no more One Piece manga reading binge (Luffy and the gang vs Eneru and his minions is just so exciting to read but I have to focus!), no more reading of any book, not even Zoro/Nami fan fiction, just the reviewers for the upcoming exam.  I have to focus.  I can’t afford to fail the exam nor the present a half-assed presentation

I can do this and the result will be great!  May God continue to guide me.

Chaos

What’s on your mind?

Sounds like a status in a social networking site right?  If I were to answer that question, I would say a lot, or so much.  So many things running through my mind lately.  With my job getting more and more demanding everyday, my studies that just getting more challenging every week, issues at home, my other plans in life and I could go on and on.  If I could put it in one word, I’d say chaos.  I don’t even know which one  to focus on first. Well, most of the time I base them on urgency.

For this week I need to work on the final preparations for the coming conference in November, prepare the financial report for the previous quarter, finish the monthly report for another project, read the Civil Code, contribute on our groups case study due this Saturday, read, study and analyze our group’s report which happens to be the most difficult and complicated case in the class, read more articles relating to our case study, I have to do a write up on the case, start on the power point (cause no one seems to want to do it), think of ways to make our presentation lively, review for the upcoming Civil Service Exam which is less than two weeks from now, help my younger sister review for her college entrance exam, find a date (now that one is optional, I just want to add that so that my life wouldn’t be all about work but it is not as urgent ha-ha). Oh and I also need to catch up on my reading, I am one book behind my reading challenge (I wanted to read at least 30 books this year, this would be done already if I count all the mushy romance novels I’ve read this year ha-ha) and this proves how busy I am, I usually have time for my “guilty pleasures” no matter how occupied I am.

Don’t get me me wrong, I love my job, I like being busy, I don’t mind working my butt off, I don’t regret pursuing graduate studies, I chose all the things that’s happening in my life right now.  It just gets exhausting sometimes, for the past months, I haven’t read much, or watch my favorite TV shows or just catch up on my sleep, I don’t exercise anymore either. Every task cross off my list, two more tasks will take its place. I was so determined to chronicle my MBA journey but after my official enrollment, I never wrote anything connected to my studies anymore.  I never been able to write down my personal thoughts either, my journal is still waiting for me, I miss those down times, when I can just read a lot in the weekend until my eyes gave out and I’d go to sleep.  I remember telling myself that I should make the most out of it because time will come when I will be so busy that I won’t have time to indulge in my guilty pleasures.  And here I am, juggling one task after the other, trying my hand in being the best employee, student, daughter, sister, friend I can ever be and its a blast but I have moments like this you know, when I am just so tired and just want to stop for a while, in the middle of chaos.

So what do I need when the stress is too much?  I’ll let you in on a little secret of mine, I read One Piece, the manga created by Oda Eiichiro.  I used to watch the animated version of it, I loved it and I was rediscovering it and fell in love all over again.  I am only at Chapter 142, not an easy feat considering that I just started reading it last month.  How was I able to do that despite my busy schedule? I read it during my commute, on the bus or a train.  It’s my new little addiction which gave birth to another addiction, my love for Zoro and Nami’s fan fiction.  I know, Oda Eiichiro made it clear that he has no plan of adding romance to the story and I am totally fine with that but a girl could dream you know?  Am I pathetic or what? Is this a result of my ever non-existence lovelife? Probably.

After writing this, I realized that it is still up to me whether I would be all stressed out or stay cool in the midst of all of these things.  I chose to enjoy the ride, I may complain for a while but that’s just my  way of letting off some steam.  I am blessed and I will make sure that I am worthy of all the things that God bestow upon me.