This episode will burn in my mind for a long time. I haven’t read all the books so I technically don’t know what happened but with the abundance of spoilers in the internet I found out that Oberyn will die. So I was thinking, Pedro Pascal portrayed Oberyn Martell really well, his character brought a fresh air to the dreary and bleak story and hoped maybe they will change the story a bit and keep him alive but then I remembered they killed Ned Stark and all hope vanished. The episode was shown 2 weeks after the last one (Mockingbird) and the wait was agonizing. I cannot wait to see the battle between the Mountain the the Viper. As I started watching, all I can think of is the battle, I don’t care about anything or anyone else, I want the fight start right away. I have to go through the whole episode though to get to the most awaited part, the battle. The battle was cool, it was well orchestrated and choreographed. Oberyn’s moves are kick ass but I was so afraid each time the Mountain strikes. It looked as if Oberyn will win then he got so emotional and starts talking about his beloved sister Elia Martell. That’s when it gets crazy. The Mountain was down, just waiting for Oberyn’s final blow to kill him and Oberyn went on saying that the Mountain murdered his sister’s children then raped and murdered her too. He wants the Mountain to confess and tell the whole King’s Landing who gave him the orders. He kept circling the Mountain while yelling then suddenly the Mountain moved and got ahold of Oberyn. The Mountain hold Oberyn’s head in his humongous hands and crushed it like it was watermelon. The scene was sickening. I was so shocked that I almost screamed. I asked my sister what I looked like when I was watching and I showed her Ellaria Sand’s reaction, she said we almost had the same reaction. I knew he will die, but not how. Oberyn Martell’s death was graphic, grotesque, gruesome and brutal. I just watched it last night and I still cringe whenever I think of it. It will take a lot of time before I can fully recover from Oberyn’s tragic death. I don’t feel any consolation for the Mountain’s death. He still won. I was so devastated by Oberyn’s death that I forgot about Tyrion and the fate that awaits him. His champion died and Gods decided he is guilty. What will become of him? I don’t know yet but one thing’s for sure we’ll see more of Tyrion and that Oberyn’s crushed head will stay in my head for quite a while.
May 24, 2014
Just finished watching episode 4 of Cosmos: A Space Time Odyssey. Learning about science and the cosmos in particular is a fantastic experience for me. The universe have always fascinated me ever since I was a kid, though I never really got into it. Seeing the wonders of the cosmos brings me back to that time, the moment I first laid eyes on a picture of the solar system, with its beautiful planets. Life and the whole cosmos is a mystery to me and will always be. I have this sudden urge to become an an astrophysicist. When I was a kid, I wanted to become an astronaut for a while then I forgot about it. Trying to make sense of the what’s going around us is amazing and tedious at the same time. Like most people, I am content to watch those great scientists/physicists do their thing and wait for great discoveries. We may not care much about it but we owe a lot to them, especially those who started it, back when resources are scarce, information is limited, society’s not ready for things they can’t understand and religion trying to answer every question with “God created it all”.
I am so amazed at the fact that the universe is 13.8 billion year old. Wow, I can’t even comprehend that huge number. Watching this kind of shows, made me question a lot to things I have been taught since I was a kid. I am a catholic and hearing Neil de Grasse Tyson talk about the natural selection and big bang theory makes me feel weird. Why? Cause they actually make sense. I am not saying that am buying the whole evolution thing, I haven’t read the book, nor really looked into the whole thing. I remember saying before that if we descended from monkeys, there shouldn’t be monkeys anymore, since we already evolved. Now, I am actually seeing Darwin’s point but not really fully understanding it. I would love to learn more about it. The Big Bang theory opposed to the biblical explanation of Creation, the TV show had simplified the process but I can barely grasp the idea but I want to know more. I want to go back to the time when universe was created, how the first living organism came to being. They said it was a microbe and life started at the ocean. I don’t know where do I really stand, do I side with what religion taught me or with science? I am just a wide eyed girl who’s just excited to know more. In my mind, I believe that science can explain how creation actually happened in details. That’s probably never going to happen. Anyway, I was galvanized by that TV show and I hope more people will watch it.
One more day and I will be 29. Oh dear, time sure did flew so fast. How did that happened? It felt as if I am still in my early twenties, going through life unsteadily, still finding my way, hoping to find my “rightful” place in this world. On the grand scheme of things, thinking of the cosmos made me realize how small I am and how inconsequential my existence has been. Not being mellow-dramatic but really, what did I ever done for this world? When I perished, the world will still be the same, nobody would care. It made me a bit sad. Like those great physicists and astronomers, I want to leave a legacy, something that will stay in this world long after I am gone. I don’t want to be just another human who lived and died. I want to make a difference, I want to contribute, I want to be worthy of the life I have been given. Lately, all I am thinking is how to succeed in my career, to earn more money, have a beautiful house, buy a kick ass car, striving for financial independence but in the end does any of it matters? I refuse to believe that this is what life is all about. Waking up, going to work, sleeping and doing them all over again.
What is the essence of life anyway? To love, to sacrifice, to be worldly, to inspire people, to create, to be holy? I don’t know, I am just taking it one day at a time, hoping that an epiphany will visit me and finally tell how to make the most out this life. Sometimes I just want to be practical, to tell myself that I am lucky enough to survive this dangerous world, to just conform to the norm and live like everyone else, grateful for everything I have and not bothering to think of things that are far from my reach. Then there were those times that I am telling myself that I just have to seek God and everything else will fall into their proper places, just submit to God’s plan and do my best to be a woman of God. Sometimes I would convince myself that I am destined for great things, that there’s so much more I can do, that adventures are just waiting for me and that I am unstoppable, everything is possible and the society can just go fuck themselves cause I am not bowing to their decree.
Here I am, staying up too late again. Almost 3 decades in this world and still feels like a kid navigating her way through the complicated world. I changed over the years; though my objectives are quiet the same.
Dear self, just enjoy life, you deserve it. If people don’t treat you nicely that is no longer your problem. Never depend your happiness on other people, you’ll always be disappointed, not all people are like you, there’s only you after all. From now on, keep this in mind; your first responsibility is to make yourself happy and your life beautiful. Come to think of it, whether you die a famous person or not, it doesn’t matter. People may remember you after you died but so what? Your dead already, you will not hear their praises. Just enjoy life, that’s what life is all about, at least for you. Other people might have other plans for themselves and for the world and that’s fine, this is how life is in the larger picture. People of different kinds; going through their day, planning ahead, doing things that make them happy. Humans create and destroy, make peace and war, hate and love and you’ll get lost with all the drama and at the end of the day you only have yourself to hold on to. So much chaos, people going after what they want, convincing other people to like what they are doing, hating those who disagree. I will just do my best to distance myself from all the craziness around me and just chill, life is too short and whether there’s life after death at least I had a great time here on earth. Happy Birthday dear Amabelle. You are doing just fine, keep going, do what your heart tells you to, chase your dreams wherever you may find it and always be true to yourself.
Thank you Dear God for the gift of life, for the good health, for the people I love and for this beautiful, mysterious world you put me in. I love you.